so this wednesday at belushi's kate and i (sophia didn't come. fail) were approached by random dutchie. i was not interested in any way, and i tried to make sure he knew it. when kate left us alone he was like "why do you act like this toward me?" and i was like "what do you want me to tell you?"
random dutchie sat there for another ten minutes. then he was like FINALLY like "i think i'm going to go back to my friends." i was like "okay, bye."
you think this would be end of story. WRONG. then he was like "i'll stay if you want me to". i made no comment and just looked at him. then he followed this up by "i'll only stay if you REALLY want me to". again, no comment. you think he would have caught on. NOPE. he was there for like literally another 15 minutes. sitting there looking at us in awkwardness.
ugh, why do i always get stuck with random creep-os? kate was getting to hang out with a hot aussie. lucky.
good thing this was not the highlight of my week.
the highlight of my week was...wait for it....wait for it: i bought my ticket home! if you know me, you know how excited/sad i am. i love amsterdam and i love my host family and most of all i love my amsterdam friends (all two of you now).
...but in a conversation with my mom, something clicked. i was telling her how ready i feel to "grow up" and get a big girl job, independence, a hot boyfriend, etc. she just said "em, you wanted all of those things before graduation." omg, she was so right. i did want all of those things before graduation. i was supposed to have all of those things and then...i didn't. so i think i've needed some time to put myself together again. and i have. so now i'm ready to start my adult life and move on from past problems.
and if you know me at all, you know how much pressure i put on myself. i'm not going to be happy until i feel like i'm doing what i need to do. and right now i'm not happy.
things will change for the better.
february 18th is the day!
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