so i was supposed to leave the house today (which i haven't left for...a week, tomorrow? embarrassing!) and did not. this is a bad thing. staying at home gives me an adequate amount of time to ponder over the things that i do not like about my life. instead, i should have been out enjoying the things i do like about my life (friends, hot chocie). why must i do this to myself?
maybe it has something to do with being in pain and on codeine.
maybe it has something to do with my personality.
either way, it sucks. thanks personality.
1. i will be 24 in nine months. this provokes thoughts of a man, a ring, and a wedding that have been invading my mind since infancy (yes, infancy). 24 was supposed to be the year. it more than likely won't be. tear.
i also thought about how this issue will not be fixed with me sitting in the house (or living in the netherlands. sorry, no dutchies for me, thank you).
2. i need to lose some major weight. and by major i mean five pounds. but when you've weighed the exact same amount for like four years it's not that easy. i might have to like (cover your ears) run. i know pilates won't work because i took a class for a semester and absolutely nothing, NOTHING, changed. i got stronger. i could do ten push-ups (man ones). but i want to get skinnier. and my dad said running is the only way. and as you know, dad's know best.
3. i need to find a job. like a grown-up job that pays enough to purchase grown-up things. i applied to like a kajillion-trillion jobs today. cross your fingers...and maybe your toes.
4. i need to fast-forward: i won't be 24 yet, i will have a job, an apartment, a car, an iphone (just thought i'd throw that one in there ;)
and perhaps things will be a little bit easier to figure out.
perhaps :)
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