Tuesday, February 24, 2009

red light district?

after a few more dismal job interviews, i am about ready to cry. i can feel it building up inside of me. my mum says to just let it out, but i like to save it up until it gets really, really bad and then have a huge balling session. i know: that has to mean something. i like to be as "strong" as possible until it gets to be too much. it's nice to know that i'm not completely alone in this behavior ;)

i know deep down that i do this on purpose. a huge emotional purge is so much more gratifying.

i'm beginning to wonder why i went to college at all. i don't even qualify for jobs that pay 7 bucks an hour. oh, and btw don't mention plans to attend grad school. this is seen as an interference with prospective job(s). army here i come? i really am seeing my options shrinking, and there really could be worse things than the army. i've seen them in amsterdam...

in other news, i had lunch with my sister today and it was really nice to be able to talk to her without kids/other family around. it happens rarely, so it was by far the best hour of my day. even though she probably has no clue, i really look up to her. she's had some trying times, and she's still a really good person. i missed her a lot when i was in amsterdam.

it was 85 today. it felt sooooo hot. i'm going to die this summer (if i'm still here).

(i miss you).

2 comments:

Jennifer said...

Seriously, let it out. Cry. I know I have. I've never been more depressed in my life. But, honestly, at least you're getting interviews. I've had none and I got laid off a over a month ago. The army route doesn't sound completely horrible. It's got good benefits. That's why I'm going for the Peace Corps. You get full medical & dental and they pay you when you come back.

Anonymous said...

I understand the being tough thing. I try and hold it in as long as possible. But someone really wise once told me "Crying doesn't mean you are weak; it means you are human."

Good luck with the job search - I understand your woes about education and jobs. It sucks. I hope you find something fun that pays well soon!